Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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