I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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