I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
