Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also, beer. Big fan.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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