ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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