i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
