are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize