Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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