If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
