I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You are the jesus of drinking
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
