best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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