grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
NoShamevember. You game?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
