Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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