It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
if only i could text you this smell
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
