I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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