there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
