At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I would fuck him just for his dog
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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