After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
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She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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