The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia