Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage. http://tfl.nu/jxfh
  Replies (13) Good night (1085) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR. http://tfl.nu/1otj
  Replies (40) Good night (4207) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars http://tfl.nu/nxps
  Replies (35) Good night (1305) Bad night (4347)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  yes

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest? (1-601): yes (601): did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me? http://tfl.nu/1ahx
  Replies (13) Good night (4925) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You are so irish.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better. (1-585): You are so irish. http://tfl.nu/pewr
  Replies (19) Good night (7112) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud. http://tfl.nu/ruob
  Replies (32) Good night (7165) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game. http://tfl.nu/2q8s
  Replies (12) Good night (2899) Bad night (1689)
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?

  (954): View more from Florida

  In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (754): He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach? (954): In the hopes he'll just put it in one day? http://tfl.nu/u4da
  Replies (100) Good night (1543) Bad night (8328)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness. http://tfl.nu/pn5t
  Replies (0) Good night (1106) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something. http://tfl.nu/dcqe
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON

  (+61): View more from Australia

  SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE

  (+61): View more from Australia

  THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON (+61): SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE (+61): THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL. http://tfl.nu/d007
  Replies (9) Good night (1496) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time.... http://tfl.nu/fwcj
  Replies (11) Good night (2131) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life http://tfl.nu/dpod
  Replies (6) Good night (599) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs? http://tfl.nu/5plk
  Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom. http://tfl.nu/3eq1
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (223)

Randomize