I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.