Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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  (518): I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever. http://tfl.nu/idj0
  Replies (39) Good night (5757) Bad night (1230)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow

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  (609): Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow (802): Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow http://tfl.nu/mba8
  Replies (2) Good night (1283) Bad night (2841)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars

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  (702): was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars http://tfl.nu/nxps
  Replies (35) Good night (1356) Bad night (4384)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.

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  (519): Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes. http://tfl.nu/ehgd
  Replies (35) Good night (1148) Bad night (8218)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.

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  (513): So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations. http://tfl.nu/znj0
  Replies (19) Good night (6032) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.

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  (281): She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this. http://tfl.nu/u3zd
  Replies (46) Good night (10407) Bad night (1563)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?

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  (678): Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up? http://tfl.nu/320o
  Replies (10) Good night (2935) Bad night (957)
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  (716): View more from New York

  ... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace

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  (716): ... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace http://tfl.nu/lenw
  Replies (11) Good night (1000) Bad night (2066)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever

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  (814): He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever http://tfl.nu/aoid
  Replies (10) Good night (3632) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."

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  (615): I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do." http://tfl.nu/0gsj
  Replies (8) Good night (3772) Bad night (1116)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!

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  (443): I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD! http://tfl.nu/k4l1
  Replies (14) Good night (1162) Bad night (808)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.

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  (307): You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home. http://tfl.nu/j8m0
  Replies (10) Good night (537) Bad night (1871)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was a book called Gay Safari.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.

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  (410): It was a book called Gay Safari. (443): I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel. http://tfl.nu/jo6k
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?

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  (519): Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!? (1-519): Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic? http://tfl.nu/6rsm
  Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.

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  (248): this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here. http://tfl.nu/h7oj
  Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (250)

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