dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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