i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.