My nipple is on Facebook.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
