i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
