I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
