I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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