I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
