I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
