he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
