Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
my penis made a compromise with my morals
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
