Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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