She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
