I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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