i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
