grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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