quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
