But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
