yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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