i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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