Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
