Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize