Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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