youre lurking in front of me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
