Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
