ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize