He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
