So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
