ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
