I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
