Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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