All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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