in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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