I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
