i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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