Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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