Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
