and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
