Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
