is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
