I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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