Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize