ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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