she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize