I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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