We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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