Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
