? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
