Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
