Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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