Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
