then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
