i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
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I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
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Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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